New meds

I will be starting a new drug tomorrow.  I come from a long line of  depressed people.  I talked with my mom tonight and we kind of bitched about how it is not fair. About how everything in life is really seeming like it is going well, but, you still feel like shit.  Then, you have to go to your doctor to get meds. 

There will be periods of time, when things are going great.  Then, for no reason, there is a crash.  And, it is not pretty.  There is no outward big explosion, to the world, your boss, or to anyone. It happens to you.   It is a paralysis (did I spell that correctly?  I am a shitty speller.  I probably did not even spell shitty right but oh well.  Did I tell you I am also neuor....of, never mind.  I did not spell para... Stop it.  I am numb.  That is easier to spell.)

Again scattered is the best way I can describe my mind.  First dose of the lexapro tomorrow.  Wish me luck.  Hugs.  K