Two alpha females

I am watching my good friend's beagle while she is working in the Detroit area.  Lily is a good girl, but she likes to be in charge.  My dog, Layla, likes to be in charge as well.  So, it has led to numerous time outs.  Layla likes to tease, Lily likes to pull hair.  Hmmm, maybe how children would be?

The celexa did not work so well for me.  I took the first dose yesterday and was up until 2 or 3 this morning.  I called in sick.  I tried another dose today, and feel like I could burst out of my skin.  Soooo, I will call my doctor and ask for something else.  M. told me to ask for lexapro.  I will ask for this tomorrow.

Today I just read.  I am really into memoirs.  Finished one today.

I am really excited that people have read my blog!  Three people:)

Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome (SADS)

I have been doing everything I can for my SADS.  I have a therapy light at my desk and take vitamins.  This seemed to work for awhile.  I think it is deeper than this.  I am going to start taking my celexa tomorrow.  For the past two weeks I have been unfocused at work, restless, and I just can't concentrate. 

There are anniversaries of certain events.  My good friend Molly died two years ago, February 18th.  She died in her sleep.  She was only 39 and suffered from juvenille diabetes. 

I am so scattered that it is hard to even write, but I feel I need to, to get this stuff out.

I worry about death constantly. Not just my own, but the deaths of everyone I care for.  I use to take very good care of myself.  Plenty of exercise and I ate well.  I took care of my house.  But, now, I feel like I am a mess.  I have physical pain when I exercise (beyond the normal aches and pains), a dirty house, and I just worry all the time.  Hopefully getting back on an antidepressant takes care of all of this sadness and anxiety.

I have a great job, great friends and family and a wonderful home.  I am so blessed and fortunate.

There is no reasoning with depression though.  Genetics are a bitch.

Write

Here I am again.  I guess I should write.   My life is sooooooooo boring.  I love my weekends though.  I cuddle with my dog, who is such a hateful 13 lbs of fluff.  We mostly fight over her balls and "blue man".  She throws her shit at me, and barks until I engage in the fight, or maybe it is play.  So, she brings a ball to me, and drops it by my side.  Then, she barks her ass off, until I reach for it.  Then, she snatches it up, and runs off.  This game bores me.  I am losing my hearing.  With "bule man", a little stuffed toy, she throws it, and her balls at me.  She will throw the ball, and then I don't get it, and she lays on top of "blue man".  There is no way of winning with this dog.  Shit.